The start of a new year is always a great time to reflect on the year that just passed and to think about how we might grow even more in the year ahead.
I have a great datebook tool that I like to use (yes, while I do use a digital calendar, I also like the old-fashioned one I can write in) that provides prompts for reflection at the end of each month and again at the end of each year. My daughter-in-law calls it “part journal/part datebook” which is true, as there is space for my “to do” list, space for reflection and goal setting, all alongside the datebook.
One of the reflection prompts is to answer the questions, “What were the three biggest lessons you learned this past year?” and “What is one way to incorporate these lessons into your life?” The monthly reflection also includes the prompt, “What were the three biggest lessons you learned in this past month?” Thankfully, since I completed the monthly reflections, it was easier to complete my end-of-year activity as I could go back through my planner, review the monthly reflections, and look for patterns or lessons that were standouts. My takeaway? There were patterns that (gah!) repeated themselves. These translated into my three biggest lessons—My “Big Three.” They may resonate with others in our Moravian Academy community, so I decided to share them with you.
Listen more, pay attention. Early in my career I worked with a woman, Erna, who was an extraordinary listener. She was like that with everyone she talked to. You always felt like you were the only person in the world when you were talking to her. Mind you, she was a very busy person, but somehow she made you feel like nothing else mattered when you were in a conversation with her. Comparably, my husband, Rich, has an amazing capacity for observation. He is a student of his surroundings, both people and things, sometimes annoyingly so, like when he wanted to stick around for three hours in Rockefeller Center to watch the full detail of how the workers install the Christmas tree! Yet, it is precisely through paying close attention that you learn. I admire these qualities so much, and realize that when I take the time to really listen, and really pay attention, I learn so much more. An added benefit is that there is so much beauty all around us. Life is short. Every moment counts. When I slow down and pay attention, I more often appreciate the beauty and gifts right in front of me!
Reserve judgment. Our society of instant everything includes a tendency to make snap judgements about people and situations. In fact it is counter cultural these days to pause, reserve judgment, and continue to gather information prior to making an assessment. I found myself, more than once in the past year, catching myself prematurely making an assessment, only to realize that I didn’t have all the information to reliably evaluate the situation. It can be challenging as my default approach is to want to move forward and make progress. Forcing myself to slow down for more assessment can feel painful at times. And yet, I nearly always achieve better results when I allow myself the time to be more deliberate.
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Whether in my personal or professional life, when I make the effort to communicate consistently and clearly, everyone is better off. Sometimes the message is hard to deliver, but I have found that when done with transparency and love it is easier for everyone. So many misunderstandings happen because of either poor or lack of communication. In the absence of information, we tend to fill in the blanks with our own assumptions, and often those assumptions are not helpful.
With these big three lessons from 2022, I have an opportunity to incorporate them into my work and life. This year, at the end of each day, I will ask myself the following questions:
What are your “Big Three”? I invite you to give yourself the gift of reflection to consider what they might be for you. It might even be a great family conversation at dinner time with your children. And if any of my “Big Three” resonate with you, I would love to hear from you. Here’s to a great new year together at Moravian Academy.
With appreciation for your partnership in the education of your children,
Adrianne Finley Odell